I have a question for you. Are you serious??? ARE YOU SERIOUS???? Please stop degrading yourself with all this crap. Do something that your children will be proud of. Are they going to look back and say, “Wow, our mom did something with her life”, or are they going to say, ” I can’t believe she did that.” Get a real job. It doesn’t seem like you’ve even attempted a real job. I don’t know. I’m not in your situation, but you kinda put yourself in this situation.