First: I know many bad mouth you for your decision to have so many babies but it was you decision to make. I would have a hard time selectively terminating my children. But the whole process was poor foresite on yoiur part. The phrase “love will get us by” is a lie. I know you love your children, but unfortunately love doesn’t buy groceries.
Second: If you need the help like welfare, then get it. No need to suffer for a non-malicious mistake. When the kids are grown and you can do it on your own then get off. That’s what it’s there for.But remember, many watch you. I don’t want to see you drivin a mercedes.
Third, saw a trailer of your video “Home alone”. I’m a happily married man, but was curious just what shape you could be in after 8 kids. I was impressed. You are beautiful and sexy and show no signs of the trauma you put your body through. Very nice and classy work.
Finally it’s a shame you need to do work like this. It must feel demeaning, but you do what needs be done. Many before you have done it from the everyday housewife to the rising star (madonna, suzzanne sumers, and numerous wholesome stars). Just keep it cleaan, no porn. Be able to live with your choice. Your body is beautiful, don’t be ashamed to show it, but sex and intimacy is private, don’t sell your soul.
I wish you luck, you have a beautiful family. Don’t take my comments or anyone elses to heart. Who give a shit what they think. You have to live with your descissions. All these kids were a bad move financially. but you love them and tou will pay for it with your sweat and insomnia. When they grow up you will and should be proud of yourself.
Just survive with your soul, though some of your dignity may be damaged, it’s the price you pay.
Good luck kid